Fucked up

Someone once asked “What is the most REAL thing you know?”

I thought about it and answered: Emotions!
I asked the same question to someone else, and he answered: Waiting…

Then I asked my self – was he more right than I? Was I shallow? Chasing after quick thrills instead of building solid ground relationships …

In the end I came to believe that we were just different – I felt more, he was expecting more! I was living in a dream, going from one emotion to the next, not being truly alive between them, while he was dealing with what we call reality!
I think I still love him, though it hurts, but PAIN is also an emotion… maybe I use to love how it felt when he was hurting me. Maybe I did not have the courage to move on. Coward!

He still expects too much from me pushing me over the edge, testing my limits in every possible direction. Like he's waiting for me to crack - or to give up. I don't think he cares eather way...

Silly girl, hoping time will change things for the better. It never does!

What is more fucked up? To love to feel, or to refrain your feelings towards someone who doesn’t love you back?