joi, 28 august 2008

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER


It only took one look.
My eyelid covered gently the
image of you reflected in my eye
My eyelashes embraced it quavering
My eyebrows are a shelter,
They’ll keep it safe from sun or rainy weather

Now, that you’re gone
I’ll never open my eyes again
Your reflection I’ll hold forever in them

duminică, 24 august 2008

Silence is not the way

video

"You in the dark/You in the pain/You on the run/Living a hell/Living your ghost/Living your end/Never seem to get in theplace that I belong/Don't wanna lose the time/Lose the time to come/Whatever you say it's alright/Whatever you do it's all good/Whatever you say it's alright/Silence is not the way/We need to talk about it/If heaven is on the way/If heaven is on the way/You in the sea/On a decline/Breaking the waves/Watching the lights go down/Letting the cables sleep/Whatever you say it's alright/Whatever you do it's all good/Whatever you say it's alright/Silence is not the way/We need to talk about it/If heaven is on the way/We'll wrap the world around it/If heaven is on the way/If heaven is on the way/I'm a stranger in this town/I'm a stranger in this town/If heaven is on the way/If heaven is on the way/I'm a stranger in this town/I'm a stranger in this town..."

BUSH - "Letting the cables sleep"

joi, 21 august 2008

It's OK to cry

“some rabbits run
some rabbits laugh
some slice their
blackened hearts
in half.”
http://lyricsandmaladies.blogspot.com/

This is not what I had in mind…but soon you learn
you can not control the way people react.
Try to find a pattern in other people’s actions
that will fit your own, but you can’t.
We each apply our different set of rules.
You see him turn away, and you think you know his reasons…
The hell you do!

Yes you can fool yourself that next time
you will know exactly what to do
And keep on banging your head in the window
Dizzy creature, no direction
Makes me laugh seein’ you try
But it would be sad not to…
So it’s ok to cry!

miercuri, 20 august 2008

despre moarte

cred ca fac parte dintre acei oameni care nu se sperie de moarte, care nu tin cu dintii de viata, si asta nu pentru ca as avea vreo tendinta de a-mi scurta sederea pe lumea asta, desi gandul sinuciderii imi dadea tarcoale, cand aveam vreo 17 ani si prinsesem gustul “filozoficarelii” – asa ne ironizam inclinatiile catre discutii metafizice. Chiar ma intrebam de curand care e diferenta intre noi de atunci = “rocarii”suparati pe viata, pe reguli, pe profesori, pe parinti, pe soarta lor, pe blazarea care ameninta sa ne adoarma spiritele incinse – si copiii “emo” de azi?
Sa fie faptul ca la noi era mai mult un sictir decat o scarba, ca noi eram inca in stare “sa ne bagam piciorul” in tot si’n toate, chiar si in cele sustinute de noi, si sa mergem mai departe – ca dovada mai toti baietii rai si revoltati impotriva societatii, din grupul nostru de “rocari filozofi” care ajunsesera la concluzia ca “viata care ne asteapta nu merita traita… o sa ajungem ca parintii nostrii…asa ca mai bine ne omoram inainte sa ajungem sa nu ne mai pese…” – sunt acum avocati, si nu ca sa sustina drepturile omului au apucat calea asta, ci ca sa fie platiti bine sa nu le mai pese! Clar, depresia nu s-a lipit de noi.
Dar am stat o clipa cu moartea la taifas, ne imaginam chiar moduri in care e “cel mai bine” sa sfarsesti, si imi amintesc ca am ajuns la concluzia ca cea mai buna alegere ar fi o cada cu apa calda, si ceva parfum ( pentru impresie artistica ) in care sa-ti tai venele… si am stat o vreme buna pe ganduri, (prietenul meu insista pentru o sinucidere la dublu ) iar scuza mea era ca nu i-as putea face asa ceva lu’ mama! si nu era doar o scuza, iubirea pentru ea era un motiv mai puternic decat orice frica. Toate gandurile astea au incetat odata cu BACul, apoi grijile care au urmat – admiterea la facultate, inainte de asta alegerea facultatii… ( inca mai credeam ca tot ce zboara se mananca si ce faci in facultate – aia o sa ajungi! )
Dar totusi, cat de rar, sau cat de des ne gandim la moarte? La moartea noastra, la moartea celor apropiati – nu la moartea de la ora 5! Si daca ne gandim – la ce concluzie ajungem? Incercam cumva sa schimbam ceva in viata asta? Sa schimbam deznodamantul? Sa traim mai din plin? Sa traim mai cumpatat? Gandul mortii ne face mai buni? Ne face mai nepasatori? Ne inspaimanta? Ne linisteste? Ne da speranta?...
Probabil ca as putea “filozoficari” pe tema asta mult si bine.
Moartea e o constanta, e un lucru bun si nu e sfarsitul! Cel putin asta e parerea mea.

See you on the other side.

luni, 18 august 2008

miercuri, 13 august 2008

Little monkey




Little monkey in a tree
Falling down the chimney
Smoke some weed and danced for me
Up last night, till late at three.


I’ve been watching from a far my life unfold to me … like I had nothing to do with all this mess.
Even though I was the one who provoked all the events, it has everything to do with me, the way I am, the way I look, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I think, the way I laugh – in all the “wrong” moments, the way I eat my sandwiches every day, the way I sometimes look your way…
Then it hit me: at some point I’ll have to step in, or else my life will pass without me in it.
Wouldn’t that be weird?
Anyway how did I get from “take what you’re offered.” to “ask and you shall be given!” ?
Nothing is that easy. Don’t trust anything that comes that easy. Probably is not good, or is not for me, not mine, not my own… so many senses, only one truth.
When in doubt, just say “No.”.
What about the doubt that comes afterwards, “what would have happened if I have said “Yes.” doubt?

Little monkey in a tree…

luni, 11 august 2008

One night the Devil...




One night the Devil came around, / starts knocking on my door,
I asked him what was all about / he says he came to claim my soul.
I laughed at him, he looked at me
His beauty made me loose my cool
We’ve met before…
The game he played was tricky and untrue,
He said he’ll make you love me too,
I fell for it
But all he did – he made my mind believe is true.
And now I have to give my soul as price for an illusion.
Because you see, the human heart – the Devil does not own.
I told him that,
And asked my right
He smiled and said
“Now don’t be sad!”

He’ll offer me a deal, a chance to keep my soul
I’ll have to make your heart
Some love for me to grow.
His eyes are so unreal…
He’s witty and so cool…
Forget about the deal
The Devil won my soul!

marți, 5 august 2008

Fallen


Breaking point

It seems I’ve got a REARVIEW MIRROR in my head… replaying everything to me, enhanced images of my life so far... looks like a stupid movie, with no plot, bad acting, sad lines, funny circumstances…
and I’m the sole spectator.

I became tormented by the past tense, wishing for a comfortable UNDO button, to erase all the words I never should have spoken, the times I’ve made a fool of myself loving you blindly, the mornings when I woke up in an empty room, dried salty sweat on my skin, cold freezin’ air in my hair…

Thoughts like knives in my head, my brain is aching in re-run. How did I get here?

I was trying to find something lost along the way, but never forgotten…
…try to ERASE & REWIND, I guess I wanted to relive the times I let go of the chance to show you… to really show you… how much you’ve hurt me. But somehow, never enough to make me turn to stone, my heart could still find excuses, putting the blame on me for all the times we fought.

Approval addict … this is what I am.
Afraid to be blamed, by anyone other than myself, so I blame myself for everything.
And then… the waiting…
Waiting for the phone to ring, for another sign, for the rain to stop, for the night to come, for another chance to change your SOUL’s mind (do you even have one?), waiting…for the phone to ring…
Ironically, WAITING became my REALITY.

I should have let go then… just get up and leave, never look back.

Why did I start crying? Who was I trying to impress…
“I wish I was strong…”
“And you think you’re not?” he smiled…
“You are! You don’t know how strong you are…”

…still waters run deep… funny how when your SOUL is in PAIN feels like a PANIC attack… just breathe… climb to the surface and breathe…are you breathing?


The phone rings, but she never answers. Not anymore…

Indifference… worst than hate, colder than revenge.
How much difference does it make … now, that it’s over?
OVER?!
He once said to me that between us there will never be a point “.”, in sense of the END OF THE STORY, but there would always be suspension points”…” sounded like a curse…
And somehow he always succeeded in changing my mind, turning me back around and inside out, every single time.
“Why?” I asked, and all I got in return was “take what you’re offered!” and it sounded cold as charity.
I guess I needed this to put an end to my illusion.
I finally found my breaking point “.”

The phone rings, but she never answers. Not anymore…

Indifference… worst than hate, colder than revenge.
How much difference does it make?

luni, 4 august 2008

O.W. & J.D.



Inca procesez informatia...

duminică, 3 august 2008

Something stupid

Ma tem ca ai sa razi de inima mea,

Si ma tem ca apoi am sa rad si eu de ea,

Mi-e teama ca se va ascunde,

Fara ca macar sa imi lase vorba unde...


Silly girl, what are you afraid of? /:)

vineri, 1 august 2008

High and Low



Desenele lui MC Escher mi-au parut intotdeauna o fereastra deschisa spre o alta lume, o lume in care iluzia devine realitate…
Asta poate nu ar fi un lucru chiar asa de bun in lumea noastra. Probabil ne-am pierde definitiv simtul realitatii nemaistiind care este limita dintre vis si realul-concret.
Am cadea intr-o stare de perpetua mirare ? sau creierii ni s-ar scurt-circuita in fata imposibilitatii de a intelege contopirea miraculoasa a iluzoriului cu lumea guvernata de legile fizicii ?
Limitele intelegerii umane… de ce trebuie TOTUL inteles? explicat? disecat? atins? murdarit?...


De ce ne ucidem visele doar pentru ca nu pot fi mancate pe paine?